7 Things That Good Fathers Do
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If you and your partner are expecting you are about to begin your parenting journey, your father journey. You will need to do the following things:
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Blog
Review of the film "The Work"
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“The Work” was filmed at Folsom Prison in California. It paints a stark picture of the inmates and the invited outside participants during a four-day group therapy process.
The film is gritty, real and puts the viewer face to face with level four offenders who are open about the crimes they committed to get themselves there. One inmate tells of “almost sawing a man in half” with a knife.
Read MoreCounseling for Men to Take Responsibility
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One of the most common complaints that women have of men is their lack of follow through and shirking of responsibility. Yes, they go to work, bring home a paycheck, or more rarely take on roles of caregiver to young children but in other arenas they can miss the mark.
Read MoreCounseling for Women: Look Inside Yourself First
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We socialize women to be caretakers of others. They are trained in these roles by their families, have it modeled by their mothers and the other women in their lives.
Read MoreAfter the Tears, Men and Shame
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Men have been trained since childhood to not cry or show emotions. It is part of our toxic masculine culture that tells boys and men to “be a man.” When they are young boys cry when upset, scared, lost, etc. They then get the message that that is not OK, even from their family. Fathers who were themselves trained out of their feelings also join in telling their sons to, “suck it up!”
Read MoreWhat is Psychodrama Therapy?
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Psychodrama is a powerful therapeutic method with multiple applications. Psychodrama can be used therapeutically to help clients in three different settings.
Read MoreSetting Healthy Limits
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Setting heathy limits is an essential way to protect and define yourself and let others know what your personal boundaries are. If we all grew up in healthy families we would have had models for how to set healthy boundaries with our spouse, children and others. So, what do healthy boundaries look like in personal relationships?
Read MoreMen and Relational Skills
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We men are not raised to pay attention to our relationships. This may be slowly changing but in general boys are raised to be achievers and are in training to be bread winners.
Read MoreCounseling for Men, What Is It?
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Men are raised to be self-sufficient and always reply with “fine” when asked how they are feeling. They will not risk being seen as weak or needy by asking for help. This behavior is enshrined in the old joke about men never stopping and asking for directions when the family gets lost on their outing.
Read MoreCouples Counseling: Making Peace
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Couples Counseling is the best way for couples to work on the conflicts that cause distance and hurt.If both people enter couples counseling with a willingness and commitment to make things better things will be better.
Read MoreReview of: “The Man’s Guide to Women”
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“The Man’s Guide to Women” by John and Julie Gottman is a great step forward in helping men understand the women in their lives. The book’s serious topic is addressed with some lightheartedness including cartoons to not overwhelm the layman. Each chapter ends with a summary of the key messages and to show which behaviors makes a man “a hero” versus “a zero.”
Read MoreFinding Your True North
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I have been doing wilderness hikes with my son for quite a few years now. I cherish the opportunity to spend those summer days exploring trails and vistas deep in Washington state’s national parks and wilderness areas.
Read MoreLife Transitions with Empty Nesters
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The day finally arrives when you become “empty nesters.” Your kid or kids have “flown the coop” and are off on their next chapter. They may be off to college, travel or other adventures. The thing you know for sure is that they are gone; at least for now.
Read MoreCouples: Affection is the Key
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I have worked with couples where expressing affection has been difficult for one or both parties. They are both committed to one another and to the relationship but they lack the ability to express their love and connection.
Read MoreAdolescents: Finding Your Identity
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As adolescents make the challenging journey from childhood towards adulthood one of their tasks is to find their identity. Being age fourteen is recycling age two so there is a lot of saying “no” and being oppositional that goes with the teen years. For that two-year-old and the adolescent the “no’s” are about defining themselves and asserting their power. They are in a process of separating themselves from what their parents want from them.
Read MoreWomen: Trying to Do It All
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We live in a time and place where there are many more doors open for women. In the work world, there are many fields that are available that were not open in the past. One hundred years ago the only jobs that women could have were all nurturer roles: mother, teacher or nurse.
Read MoreThe Four Different Kinds of Childhood Trauma
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It is virtually impossible to leave childhood without incurring some kinds of trauma. There are some traumas that don’t easily fit into what most people think of as traumas, such as developmental trauma.
Read MorePre-Marital Counseling: Why and Who is it for?
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Couples often co-habitat, share finances, or even share children before marriage. For those that are interested in getting married pre-marital counseling is a good place to explore what is working and perhaps not working before taking a next step in their commitment.
Read MoreShame in Men (and it’s source)
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In some way, Men carry shame simply for being male. Images abound for men to make them feel inadequate: Examples are everywhere for men to compare themselves to guys with ripped bodies, driving expensive cars and if they ever come home it is to big houses and loving wives and well-mannered kids. These men are always successful, happy and strong.
Read MoreWhat is Psychodrama Therapy?
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Psychodrama is a form of group therapy created by J.L. Moreno. He was one of the founders of group psychotherapy and held the belief that therapy done in a group was the optimal way to help people heal. He believed that our families were our first groups where we were injured in childhood and felt another group would be the best vehicle for healing
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