Three Ways to Begin Healing 2020 Trauma

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2020 has finally ended and will go down in history books as one of the most difficult and traumatic years in human history. We don’t have to recount all the things that made it such a hard year, but it included the Covid-19 pandemic, racial unrest, forest fires raging, etc.

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Any one of those things would have been enough to make it distressing in our normally stressful lives but these events, in tandem, put things over the edge.

Now 2020 is over. There are many things that we are still struggling with but there is hope as we have new vaccines on the way. Yes, their production and distribution are lagging far behind the numbers needed but that news brings hope.

We have put the environment on the back burner even though we have so much there that needs to be addressed but at least the fires are out for now.

A new president has been installed and the daily level of drama and chaos has subsided.

Those are all changes for the better and still there is work to be done to address the trauma that occurred in 2020.

Here are three ways to address the trauma for the past year:

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  1. Start by acknowledging yourself to yourself that you made it through.  You are a survivor of one of the most difficult times in the last 100 years. You did whatever you had to to get through: changed work routines, dealt with changing family dynamics and the dislocation that has come with possibly working from home and kids being at home as well. Give yourself credit and see your strength and resolve in these hard times. Maybe you reached out to friends or family that were struggling or were a listening ear when they needed it, even when you were exhausted. If you made it through this last year you know you can make it through hard times and most hard situations. 

  2. Find time to reflect on and mourn the losses of the last year. Write down all the things that were lost, dislocated or given up. This is grief work and a big part of healing. For kids it was the loss of being at school with friends, having graduation ceremonies and hanging out. For adults it could be loss of seeing workmates in person and the social time with friends and family. It might be not being able to attend funerals as those have been limited in the number of people that are able to attend. After writing them down share them with a close friend or spouse. If feelings come up share those too and talk about what you missed. You can include a ritual of writing those things on paper and then burning them to let go of some of the loss and write down and share things you are going to do this year, if possible, to rekindle lost time with friends and family.

  3. Another big step in healing is to make meaning out of what happened. Take time alone and write down what you learned from this last year. Maybe is has something to do with valuing friends and family so that you will hold them dear and making visiting a priority going forward. As the songwriter Joni Mitchell wisely wrote, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘till its gone.” Write your list of what makes sense of the difficult experiences you’ve had this last year.

In closing, be thoughtful and become a writer of the good and the not so good events in your life. Journaling is a great way to make a historic ledger of your life and to know yourself better. May this last year not be forgotten but used as a template for what you want to create in 2021.