Men and Self Care in the Time of Covid 19
/We are living in extraordinary times right now. The last several months have moved us from disbelief and denial to acceptance of the “new reality” of a pandemic gripping our world.
We as men are struggling like everyone else to make sense of this new threat to our health, safety and livelihoods. An additional challenge is to take good care of ourselves so that we have the resource to care for our families and others in need.
Traditionally we have sucked it up, toughed it out and put ourselves last in line for care from others and from ourselves. We can no longer afford to do that as we are vulnerable as well. That is a key part in this new awareness, that we are vulnerable and need to care for ourselves.
What is the point in that? First it is the opportunity to be strong is a different way and to create a sense of calm and security for our loved ones. Secondly it is a way to make it much more likely that we will stay healthy. By caring for our health, mental and physical, we have more resistance to illness.
Things you can do that will keep you healthy are: Daily exercise, such as taking walks with or without a spouse or family members. Finding time to meditate or be in silent reflection on what you are grateful for. Making healthy meals and exploring new ways to understand yourself, like journaling.
Let’s break those down to see how your self-care regime can unfold.
Exercise: By moving our bodies and getting fresh air it naturally relieves stress by connecting us to nature. Exercise can connect us more to what we are feeling and thinking. You might become aware of some sadness that relates to all that has changed in a few short weeks. Any time things change in our lives there is grief. Allow yourself to feel what is going on in you.
Self-Reflection: Making time to meditation or creating space and time to reflect on what is going on for you on the inside. Breathe in and slowly, in a controlled way, exhale. This way of breathing tells our body that things are OK, and you can relax. Keep breathing and notice what your thoughts are: concerns about what might happen? Mentally put those concerns in an imaginary box and put the box away. Focus on just what is going on today. Ask yourself: “What can I do today to make this day better?” By living in the present and “Taking it one day at a time” we can prevent getting overwhelmed.
Gratitude: When you are feeling stressed it a good idea to start a “Gratitude list”. A list of the things you are grateful for in your life: Good health, a healthy family, enough food, shelter and resources to help your weather the current situation. Review the list and read it daily while adding to it as you become aware of more blessings.
Cooking for health: This is a great opportunity to expand or develop your cooking skills with an eye toward healthy meals. Men are often not taught how to prep and cook meals. Now is an opportunity to gain those skills by gathering recipes online, shopping and making healthy dinners for your family. It is a great way to model new roles for men and can give your partner some role relief.
The Chinese character for “crisis” is also the character for “opportunity.” You can use this time of covid-19 and the social isolation and dislocation we are all experiencing as an opportunity to develop the parts of yourself that are about doing a better job of caring for yourself and others.
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