Five Things You Can Do to Help Your Teen with Anxiety

Partly as an after affect of the pandemic and partly as a bi-product of adolescence many teens are struggling with anxiety. This has been caused by the disruption to the familiar patterns of attending school and other activities in person and the loss of most face-to-face encounters with friends and others.

As a concerned parent you want to do your best to help your teen navigate these difficult times and situations.

     Here are five things you can do to help them:

1.     Pay attention to clues that they are struggling with anxiety. Be observant if they seem to be even more withdrawn and uncommunicative at home. Ask them how much they are in contact with friends and track how they are going academically at school. I know teens can be tight lipped about their own lives but try your best to cultivate a way to connect with them.

2.     Make use of opportunities to check in with them that are more indirect and conversational. A good way to do this is to check in as you are giving them rides to events or outings. As you are driving them, and they are next to you or in the back seat inquire about their day. What was a low and a high point? Did they get to spend time at lunch with their friend or friends? Also ask if there is anything they might need help with navigating, especially with their friend group. To make it not feel like an intrusion tell them something about your high and low point. And share a way you used your skills to deal with a difficult situation with your friends or coworkers. Leading by example is most likely the best way to help them. And it is OK to say, “I don’t know how to deal with that issue.” Ask them to give their best guess and offer your own so that you can problem solve some things together.

3.     Research techniques to help with anxiety and share them with your teen. For example, you can look up videos on how to deal with anxiety on YouTube or other platforms. See what you find that might help you and help your teen. There are various breathing techniques that can be used such as deep inhales and slow, controlled exhales that tell the body that things are Ok, and you can calm down a bit by using this or other breathing techniques. There are several guided meditation or meditation programs that are phone apps, like CALM that can be helpful. Try them out yourself and ask you teen if they are interested in trying them as well. It is OK if they are not interested as they are now aware that you are using them and can ask later if they want.

4.     Set us a “quiet space in the home for your and their use. If possible, make a room or part of a room a quiet place to just “be”. You can set up speakers and have calming music. Have scented candles or incense available ready to help make it a sensory experience for them. Let the family know it is mostly for anyone who needs a quiet place to sit, rest and reflect. Have comfortable pillows, blankets there to make it relaxing and restful for them and yourself too.

5.     Help them to prioritize sleep and getting good rest as needed. Sleep is connected to good mental health and managing anxiety. Adults need seven to nine hours of sleep a night and teens need even more as their brains and bodies are still developing. Let them know that a steady schedule is best and help them to set up getting to bed at a regular time most nights and get up at roughly the same time each morning. Teens being teens with tend to stay up late and rise late on weekends, but you can give them the information so that they are more aware of what helps them get the rest they need. There are things you can do to get better sleep like getting off screens at least an hour before bed and turning down lights and other stimuli as well.

These five steps are a good start to helping your teen navigate the challenging times we are living in and managing their anxiety.

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